I have been trying to type out my feelings, but with school, studying and life, it's so hard for me. The SSATs are coming up at the end of the month and I need to take them. Uncle Merlin told me, it was a great idea to do so, but I'm not leaving my school. So I don't know. This week has been crazy and I'm aching to write more. This blog has helped me to keep things into focus.
You know when, you think about this and that and this and that, you start to go crazy and your life and spinning out of control. That's me.
I need to keep focus on me, instead of my gut feelings and my family. Everyone has gut feelings and I let them guide me, but sometimes you can over worry about a gut feeling and that's want makes you crazy.
Spirit did spy on Greg. Greg is not normal. I knew it. He's a witch. He's a creature of the night, but I don't know how old he is. I wish I knew. Spirit warned me about Witches and told me the leave him alone, but I can't .
I don't know why my family doesn't like witches. We are creatures of the night, just like were wolves and vampires. Now, I don't believe in were wolves because I never saw one. I do believe in vampires because of Uncle Apollo, Aunt Megan and Uncle Merlin's friend.
They had dinner with use on Wed. It's was strange. Uncle Apollo drank blood, of course because that's what vampires do. My mom and dad served real human flesh, I wonder who. The meal was good. Mercy, M, and Maverick was enjoying the meal. Mckenna was in South America on a dig. She's such nerd. I can't stand her.
When she enters a room, everyone needs to talk to her as if she has the answer to the mystery of life and death. I wish, she knew if we can die. But, I became to the conclusion, I can't die.
Period. I will be living forever and ever. It's this a good thing, I don't know. I will just be like Uncle Clive, reinventing myself over and over.
Uncle Merlin seemed he wasn't please to eat with Uncle Apollo. I felt his anger. If you looked at him, you can see a bloody red glow around him and it was like, he wanted to kill him. Apollo was like, so what. M was quite and didn't say a word. I wanted to cry but, I don't know why. M is such a mess, but you have to feel sorry for him. He seems, he doesn't fit in with the family, certainly, his family.
Uncle Merlin family is all about faith in God and the bible. Also, they can see the past, the present and the future with no problem. I have to right to ask Mercy for advice about the future, but my mom already warned me about my leadership power and E.C. wont let me.
After dinner, the ADULTS went to my mom's study and closed the door. EL, my sister and Mercy went to EL room to play. Maverick left in his car. M, me and E.C. was in E.C. room. Yes, the SOB was looking to see if we were not having sex. I HATE SIMON PETER. He is getting on my Fuckin nerves. My brother and I used to be so close to the point we would shower together. I don't see anything wrong with that. When we showered or bath together, we would talk about our feelings and things. It was like our time to vent, talk and understand what the hell was going on in our lives. Now, we can't even talk together in a room with the door close. I miss the closeness with my brother. We were like one person, but now I feel scared to be alone. He's my only and true best friend. I love him.
I need to tell him about Greg. What would he say? Yikes, I don't know. M was really depress. He was talking about running away from the family because he didn't belong. I think that is BS. Because he's still my cousin, just the strange one in the family. But, I love him. He is cool, but he was crying.
There was more shouting downstairs and E.C. and I felt the anger and judgment coming. I looked at M and now I know. He's different. I felt it, but I didn't want to put stock into it. Now, I know why mom is mad with Aunt the Slut Megan. M is half vampire. At dinner, I felt it, strong. Now, I know why mom was upset with Aunt Megan.
E.C. and I didn't have to hear it, but we felt it. We looked at M and he floated away into the wall and out the door. E.C. and I looked at each other because our family don't like vampires and vampires don't like us. One reason why, we like Uncle Apollo because he doesn't judge us.
Vampires believe we are not valid because we don't have a long history. The only thing, we have and they don't, is our great grand father is a demon. Yes, I said it. He is a demon, not the good angles in heaven. He was curse and thrown out of heaven with all the other demons. I can't trust him, eventhough he made us. Who can you trust a person who created you. It's like not having faith in God. But, I do have faith in God, but not in my own great grand father.
I don't know what to do. Uncle Merlin did call for Mercy and M, but I told him M left. It was like Uncle Merlin understood.
What is the future for M? I wonder, if other vampires know about him. Would they kill him because he is half and half. I don't know what the future will bring for him. Should I tell the rest of my family? I don't know. But, now things make sense. He is actually part of the living dead. He's dead, but alive.
He did make it to school, but I felt so sorry for him. I wish, I could take his pain away, but I can't. How can you live in a world were two races you are part of don't like each other. I hope the vampires leave him alone. It's not his fault.
And what should I do about Greg? I could see if his family just practice Wiccan, but he is actually a real witch. I have to study some more about Witches, instead of the craft.
My believe, Wiccan and being a witch to totally two different things. Wiccan is the religion and being a witch is a race.
I have to asked Maverick, why our family don't like witches, but then again, he can read my mind. Damn. You can't win with this family.
I will pray for M. I hope Apollo controls his race. They are like rats on the earth. sick people who don't care about anyone,but themselves. I would like to cut all their heads off and kill the race because we don't need them.
Uncle Merlin, told me, I would have to choose about something. Maybe, my something just arrived.
SHIT.
