Almost Saturday

It will be almost Saturday morning. E.C. and I are close again, but Simon Peter doesn't like it. I don't care. He's an ass. I know you should never talk or write about an advisor like that but I don't care. He thinks E.C. and I will have sex; which is SICK. I love my brother, but not like that. SICK.

Simon Peter wants us the read bible daily, but why? I don't believe God loves my family. God can give a damn about us.

If you read the bible, Galvin is a demon and my great grand father. He made us, so we come from demon kind, so why would God in heaven want to love us. So, I don't understand why my family have to go to church and read bible.

I would like to know what my purpose is with this life I have. I don't know if I could get sick with a disease, grow old or die. I know, I need to stop bitching.

Uncle Apollo, he's a friend of the family and a vampire. Uncle Merlin and Uncle Apollo knew each other for a long time, probably hundreds of years. Uncle Merlin just told me, Uncle Apollo is a vampire; which is cool because you know what vampires are all about. They drink blood, never grow old, they pale as death and terrible teeth. Everyone knows about vampires and even were wolves, but I never seen one (were wolf). I don't even think were wolves exists.

I'm just don't know what to do? My emotions are bubbling inside of me and I wish I knew what I'm suppose to do.

I knew I was different from other children, I knew my family were different. It funny, the only people who understand you is your family, but you still feel all alone. Like trap in a cage without knowing when I can get out and see the world as it is. You know. I'm hurting so much, but I have to be strong.

I look at my mom and she never ever show any emotions. She's never happy, sad, angry or hurt. She's just made out of stone without a heart. She's more like a warden then a mom. The night when Uncle Merlin was going to tell us the story, was FIRST TIME, my mom shown any emotion.

How am I suppose to be leader in my family when I can't lead myself? Should I ask Satan for help? Or Jehovah for help? I don't even know who I should pray for?

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of doubt, lies, drama, insecurity and sadness. What I am going to do?

I feel something is going to happen. I talked about with E.C. He feels it too. But, I need to be concern with my school work. It has been slipping. I hate that. I always need to be perfect.
K is becoming popular. She sees her disease as a gift to make her popular in school.

I need to stop calling what I have is a disease. I'm just trying to fit something into my life, that's not normal. Normal people can't move in a split second, make their eyes hollow as a dead tree rotting inside, move in angel time or normal time, have a burn mark so people will know you family tree, move scars and moles around my body, and become a monster.